


I'm Running Out of Patience (But Never Out of Time)

by ChaoticEther



Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 17:12:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticEther/pseuds/ChaoticEther
Summary: Something a little different than usual (yeah I watch things other than RWBY and write things besides Bumbleby), but it's a short fic I've been piecing together for a while now as a side-project. Honestly this is pretty much absolutely for me, but I figured I may as well post it for the sake of diversity anyway





	I'm Running Out of Patience (But Never Out of Time)

**Author's Note:**

> Something a little different than usual (yeah I watch things other than RWBY and write things besides Bumbleby), but it's a short fic I've been piecing together for a while now as a side-project. Honestly this is pretty much absolutely for me, but I figured I may as well post it for the sake of diversity anyway

At least Okabe had his Reading Steiner to work from, to notice how things had changed compared to whatever mess the last world line was. She’s flying blind save for flashes, instincts, feelings of how things should be; all she knows is that Okabe being lost isn’t how it ends. It can’t be, that’s too cruel an end for the man who jumped across time and space for herself and Mayuri, who tortured himself seeing both of their lives flicker out in his arms more times than any sane person could. That’s the crux of it all, really; he _wasn’t_ sane, far from it, and living these two days over and over again is starting to make Kurisu understand why. She’s used to the nausea at this point, phone quickly flying away from her ear and back into her pocket, blood-soaked blouse now clean and white once more.

“Assistant,” his voice commands the space, empty save for the two of them. “I thought I told you that this world line can’t have time travel.”

There’s a twinge of _something_ in Okabe’s words. Sympathy, perhaps? Disappointment? He recognises the signs even from the computer chair, bathed in an unnatural white glow from the monitor. He turns to face her, eyes widening like they always do when he realises this isn’t her first go around; it can’t be her first time if she’s this unfazed by leaping. In fact, Kurisu has that entire line memorised perfectly. She can pinpoint the moment his heart breaks, hates that she’s responsible for it every time, watches helplessly as anger flickers behind brown irises.

“Maybe it _needs_ time travel,” _to save you,_ she argues the last part in her head, hands balling into fists,

“It doesn’t!” He snaps, rising to full stature, “If you and Mayuri are safe, then-”

The rest of the sentence is lost between Kurisu’s form falling against his. Something inside her broke a long time ago, and during the endless repetition she’d punctured her heart, stopped caring what happened to her as long as Okabe lived. And she could see that fact tearing him apart at the seams, staring into her blue eyes like a window to his past self. That’s why she has her arms wrapped around him, face buried into the white of his lab coat, now damp with tears. His hand gently strokes the back of her head, trails and tangles in the cascade of red hair down her back, and for a second, she wonders if this is what he’d be like all the time without the Kyouma nonsense. Instead, a laugh erupts, sending her reeling backwards as he assumes _that_ ridiculous pose.

“Very well then, Christina. If such a device’s existence is the will of Steins;Gate, then I shall forge my own path!”

Kurisu laughs. Kurisu _actually_ laughs at him. Tinged by sadness, but a laugh all the same.

“What happens?” He asks, serious this time. She’s still a little amazed at how quickly he can flip between the two.

“I-You…” She hangs her head, partly because she knows he’ll understand. He always does. “Mayuri and I both survive, yes, but you…”

“You can’t change my fate just by building a time leap machine and going back. I learned that the hard way with Mayuri.” Judging by the look on her face, she’d learned the same way.

“But if your death is a fixed point, then-”

“Then this isn’t the Steins;Gate world line. Not the _true_ one, at least.” Okabe rests his head in his palms as he slumps into the sofa. He looks back up at her, still standing across the table in the lab, boots giving her a few inches so she looks more intimidating than usual, and that’s the first time he’s ever really seen Kurisu look helpless. For once, she’s looking to him for answers, and he can’t give them. Not the ones she wants to hear, anyway.

“Please, Okabe. _Anything_ to point me in the right direction.” Her eyes water, knees hitting the ground before she can do anything else. _“Please.”_

“I can’t.”

“What?”

“Not without knowing the two of you are safe wherever we end up. Wherever _I_ end up.” He has a point. If the world line changes, she wouldn’t even remember the work she put in to do so.

“But you may as well die if we don’t!” She bangs her hands against the floor in frustration.

“Then that’s the choice of Steins;Ga-”

“Don’t give me that crap, Okabe!” All semblance of composure shatters in an instant; stubbornness was always the enemy of progress, after all. “Not after saying this isn’t the right world line.”

_Not after saying you loved me somewhere in this mess._ It’s the only thing she can recall clear as day. The pair of them soaking wet, her hands pulling on his coat and straining to make their lips meet. Seeing him so defeated, standing in the lab after what seemed like eternity, barely processing the fact she was even sitting there and wanting to do nothing but kiss him until the demons cowered in the darkest corners of the room. Watching helplessly when he saved her from her father’s rage. Just once, just this once she wanted to be the one to save him.

“That’s not the point, Christina.” Okabe, no, Kyouma, grins. “If you’d let me finish, I was going to say I can’t have you doing this _by yourself._ I’d be remiss if I let my assistant shoulder the entire burden of changing my fate.”

The realisation hits her like a freight train, too fast and heavy and all at once. All the times she’d been there for him, even if they didn’t happen in this world line, every single one was still clear in his mind. He’s gesturing and talking like a mad scientist, but there’s a glimmer of earnestness in his eyes that she swears is new. His hand extends in front of her face, waits patiently for Kurisu to take it and stand back up again. _Partners, this time,_ she thinks, lets the soft smile pull on the corners of her lips.

“Run it through again.” He repeats, setting a mug of coffee down on the table beside her as she works.

“In approximately two days’ time, you die, regardless of situation. That means we have to change the world line, but not so much that we leave the set of world lines where both Mayuri and I survive.” She takes a long sip, almost the entire mug, before looking back to him, eyebrow raised. “What exactly do you plan on sending, anyway?”

“Do you remember that… Date, I never made it to?” Okabe blushing is a rare sight, but not exactly one Kurisu dislikes.

“You think that’s enough?”

“I bought all the things to make a time leap machine so I could go back and have it.” The admission rushes out of his mouth as quickly as the Dr. Pepper disappears from the bottle, “if someone picked up on that, then it may lead to the unfortunate circumstances in the near future.”

“How would anyone know that?”

“We’re still in the beta attractor field, albeit on a technicality. That means CERN should still be on the lookout for anything related to time travel.”

“You think it’ll work?”

“We won’t know unless we try.” He smiles, a strange mix of reluctance and acceptance.

Okabe knows better than to disturb Kurisu when she’s working, settling down for a long night of making drinks and browsing social media. This is better than any actual date they could go on. Appreciating each other’s company without worrying about saying the wrong thing or wearing the wrong clothes; mostly the former, in his case. Moonlight pools through the window beside him, a fact he only notices because Kurisu actually moved, mumbling something about sitting down for so long being bad for you. Seeing her bathed in the pale glow reminds him of the first night she opened herself up, expected judgement only to get reassurance. Of course, that didn’t happen in this world line. None of it did. Then why, _why_ is she looking at him like she remembers it perfectly. Before they know any better, their hands are intertwined and she’s straining upwards as he acquiesces and leans down, lets their lips meet as a single tear thuds against the floor of the lab.

“I won’t remember any of this. What I did to save you.” She chokes on an inhale, steps away as reality fades back into their little space.

“I’ll tell you all about it. I promise.” He smiles against the mess of red hair, ruffled from her hands constantly running through it in frustration and tiredness. _But you’ll have to tell me about our date,_ he muses, finally deciding on what to send.

_Go on date with assistant or die._

\------

It’s a pleasant surprise to find Okabe actually waiting at the spot they agreed upon a few days prior. Kurisu’s ditched her usual hoodie in the summer heat, trading leather shorts for denim ones and throwing up a hand in greeting as she gets closer. He’s actually put in a little effort, the usual t-shirt replaced with a button-down and phone in hand.

“Diverting extra Organisation funds to dates, are we?” She giggles, only to be instantly caught off-guard by how genuine his response is.

“Actually, it was Mayuri. She wanted to make sure I didn’t stand you up.”

“The great Hououin Kyouma bending to the whims of his hostage?”

“You sound ridiculous.” He deadpans, takes a small amount of delight in Kurisu’s surprise before donning the trademark maniacal grin. “Steins;Gate has decreed that you and I are to date!”

“ _There_ it is,” she sighs, but still links their arms as they walk, “what did you even have planned?”

“Uhh…” Ironically, he really _didn’t_ have anything planned. It was a D-Mail from his future self that even convinced him to show up. “Nothing, honestly. If you want, we can just walk.”

They fall into step so easily, so automatically that it feels like a hundredth date instead of a first. Maybe if you totalled them up across world lines it might start reaching that many. He’d asked on a whim, expected her to be busy with work or prefer to see everyone together. A fact made abundantly clear by his obvious lack of forethought, automatically walking her back to the deserted lab before opting to take the extra few flights of stairs up and onto the roof. So familiar, but strange all at once. Last time, she’d walked all the way to the top of the radio building to find him moping about, waxing lyrical about the nature of his life, the roles everyone had to play. She remembers stitching his lab coat, pink thread standing out against the white material. It’s not a real memory though. None of that happened to this version of her. That’s why she replaces it with the vision of him standing by the railing, hands firmly planted into his pockets and smiling calmly. Maybe she’s really the crazy one for still being in love with him regardless of when and how they end up together.

“Okabe? Do you-” She starts, only to be cut off.

“You’re going to ask me if I really remember again, aren’t you?” At least that question is a constant in their relationship. “Truthfully, I do. Although I can’t say the same for other incarnations of myself. If we even exist alongside each other at all.”

“What do you mean?”

“I keep my memories regardless of the world line. What I have yet to ascertain is whether or not there’s only one at a time, and each of our existences is the sum of all parts, or if I overwrite the poor soul who was here in this world line before me.”

“I think it’s the former. I remember things I shouldn’t. But they’re not really memories, not for me.” _Unfortunately,_ she thinks, recalls another kiss they shared in a dream.

“That’d be nice. Knowing there’s no one else suffering while I’m here happy.”

\-----

“And that’s about it,” Kurisu nods, watching as Okabe sighs, “I had fun, you know.”

“If only I could actually remember it.” He responds, sinks into the sofa beside her as an honest laugh erupts.

“The one date I remember and you have the nerve to forget it,” she jabs an elbow into his side.

“Like I said, the world works in mysterious ways, assistant. We could always go out on another, if it really means that much to you.”

“Is that your way of asking me on a second date?”

“It’s only a second date for you. I’m asking you to be my first date. Provided it’s not too much trouble, of course.” He doesn’t stammer, but he’s clearly close to doing so.

“Maybe,” she replies with an amused lilt, “if you promise not to time travel and avoid it again.”


End file.
